DOWN WITH DEPRESSION!

Hello World!

The Funky Writer is back on her pavilion with the most hashtagged topic of the week- mental health.

First things first:

People have been posting stuff like “If you wanna talk, I am here.”

No need to call them up to rant out feelings, dude. They are the same people who would never even call you back if they missed your call! As soon as this popular news would die out, once again mental health would be the same hush-hushed topic that generations have decided to sweep down their beds.

Okay, so coming back to me, I am here to talk about depression and anxiety. I wanted to write about this since last year but finally I have managed to pitch in all my thoughts into this article. I hope that this would be helpful for people who are struggling with keeping their minds healthy as well as for people who want a lucid understanding of the concepts.

WARNING

THIS ARTICLE IS A SUBJECT OF MY LIMITED KNOWLEDGE AND OBSERVATIONS ON THE CONCEPT. THIS NO WAY REPRESENTS ANY STAUNCH MEDICAL ADVICE OR RESEARCH. PLEASE CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL IF YOU HAVE ANY SORT OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.

We all seem to be sad sometimes, maybe we are in grief too, what is the big deal? We are humans, and as emotional creatures, it is okay to hit the low. How do we distinguish depression from sadness and grief?

Sadness is a natural emotion, just like happiness or anger. You express sadness when, say, your dad didn’t fulfil his promise of getting you a Hotwheels or you had a fight with your sibling. But it is temporary, and it goes away soon.

Grief is an aggravated version of sadness. It can go on for a prolonged period of time, when you are dealing with a stressful situation, like, the death of a loved one, or you being denied admission to your dream university.

Depression is a state of prolonged sadness, that starts off with a reason and then slowly the reason evaporates but you still have that void in your head. If you remain continuously sad for more than 2 weeks, you are depressed.

One of the major differences between grief and depression is that grief doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself, while depression does. Some of the behavioural changes include:

• Incessant crying for no reason
• Excessive eating or flunking meals
• Absentmindedness
• Sudden emotional outbursts, like anger or sadness
• Extreme emotions, like excitement or feeling down
• Anxiety and nervousness
• Stress and frustration
• Confusion, taking time to make the simplest of choices (say choosing a food item or a dress)
• Staying aloof, or getting attached too often (to people)
• Difficulty falling asleep or feeling sleepy/lethargic the entire day
• Negative minded even in the most positive situations
• Self-harming (like hitting head/hands against the wall)
• Self-talk
• Phantom pain (bodyache, etc.)
• Suicidal attempts
• Succumbing to intoxicating pleasures like drinking/smoking
• Discontinuation of hobbies

Depression is curable, though it can come back into your life again and again if not treated properly. It is not a stand-alone condition. I have created this cycle for a better understanding:

Long periods of depression can cause a reduction in performance due to a lack of concentration, leading to low self-esteem. This can be further aggravated by frequent comparison of self-performance with others. Anxiety and nervousness can set in when you are under confident or are anticipating negativity in any activity that you undertake.  

Anxiety is our body’s response to stress. It is normal to panic during situations like interviews or elocutions. However, if you are constantly dwelling under fear of anything and everything under the sun, then you are getting anxiety attacks. Some of the symptoms include:

• Increased heart beat (a thumping sensation in the chest)
• Dry mouth
• Cold sweat
• Tremors (limbs start shaking)
• Negative thinking

When we are performance centric and face dead ends, we seem to be more anxious than depressed. The fear of failure or log kya kahenge can push us into depression. Feelings of loneliness and unworthiness can further worsen the situation. When we start seeing ourselves through the eyes of others, we constantly fail to achieve happiness or success.

But why are we depressed?

The following reasons might hand out a clue or two:

• The loss of a loved one (physical or emotional)
• You have suffered violence/betrayal that might be sexual or non-sexual in nature (physical or mental)
• Work/academic/family stress
• Prolonged illness, like organ failure or diabetes
• Anxiety
• Living someone else’s life
• Dissatisfaction with current lifestyle
• Genetic/hereditary

What to do if you are anxious/depressed?

The first step to ease out your pain is to accept that depression and anxiety are for real and will not pass away like a midnight summer dream. Only then you would be able to work on eradicating the sadness from your life.

Some of the following activities are worth a try:

Eat, sleep and repeat!

One of the best ways to de-stress is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. A good diet and a good night’s sleep of 7-8 hours can leave you refreshed and relaxed.

The best perk of staying at home is maa ke haath ka khana. Eat good food, eat a lot of it if you want to, exercise a bit, and turn off the lights by 11 p.m. Stay close to your family. You can see the change in yourself!

Keep a journal.

If you feel that you have no one to speak to, then voice out your concerns on paper. Sometimes, even after talking to people, your chest might feel heavy. Then in that case just write down your feelings. You’d feel better. Making this a regular habit can go a long way in making you emotionally stronger.

Restart your hobby.

One of the biggest hints that you’re depressed is your lost interest in hobbies. It can be, indeed, very difficult to do something that is not much required in your daily life for survival, like cooking, studying or going to office. However, hobbies can give your life a new perspective to work on.

I had a hard time writing this article, since I had lost touch of my keyboard. My hands could only type out assignments. I just used to listen to music, but now I shake a leg and put in my tune while my song is on.

Say goodbye to negativity.

Many personal incidents have brought me to the conclusion of staying away from toxic people who are forever jealous of you or are angry at you and hence keep on hurling sharp, hurtful statements at you. Many times it has happened that people have reached out to me for favours only; they are not concerned about my time or wellbeing.

Stay away from such people. Learn to say NO. They might be your ex colleagues or old schoolmates. At first, it might seem as if they are trying to stay connected to you, but in reality, all they want are favours and once they’re done with you, they’re done with you. And what are you left with? An empty heart, and possibly you might denounce mankind.

Sharing is NOT Caring

When you keep talking about your troubles to everyone, firstly, they would not like to hang around with you and secondly, they might use these statements against you: to put you in a bad light or simply, make you the talk of the town. A personal advice is to talk less and listen more. Talk to selective people only, like your closest friends and family members, who love you and do not judge you unconditionally.

Binge watch shows.

I was never a fan of Amazon Prime or Netflix. But sometimes, when your mind is full of negative thoughts regarding yourself and your surroundings, it is good to take a diversion and feed something else into your brain. This way, you look forward to events unrelated to your life and might find solace in stories. Thanks to the lockdown, I got a chance to watch some of the specific series and movies that I had wanted to watch since years. Have a look into my lockdown list:

You can also read your favourite books if you are a bibliophile instead of a movie person. Sharing a list of the PDFs that I have:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1gbZXQNgmvB7NY964NDwTdB469Yy1casS?usp=sharing

You know it’s time to go to the doctor when you are not able to handle your feelings with home remedies and counselling by family and friends. Consider going to a professional counsellor first before visiting a psychiatrist. Bells start ringing when you are not able to focus on your day to day life without having a good cry or imagining about how worthless you are. Warning bells: when you tend to get suicidal thoughts or attempt suicide or self-harm yourself in the anticipation of ending your life to get rid of the suffering.

Counsellors are active listeners, and can mostly pinpoint the source of sadness. They would help you to focus on the positive aspects of life, by telling you to conduct simple exercises like making a list of positive things in life and putting it as a mobile wallpaper. They also might tell you to take tests to determine behavioural patterns. Counselling is like a placebo effect; when someone shows interest/confidence in you, you tend to bloom up and feel better, as depression makes you an easy prey to judgements by the public.

A counsellor might refer you to a psychiatrist when plain good thoughts don’t work; your brain needs medical intervention.

Your psychiatrist might prescribe you anti-depressants on the basis of the severity of your condition. For example, if you have moderate depression, then your doctor might prescribe you a low dose antidepressant.  

What to do if your loved one is depressed?

Talk to them. Listen to them. Kindly do not give them any advice in the beginning. Let them work on themselves. If they fall down, you pull them up, but don’t keep on pushing them unnecessarily. They know what is right and what is wrong, they just need time to figure it out.

Spend time with them. Eat their favourite foods, go out and take a walk in the lap of nature. Fresh air always helps.

Slowly, show them the positive side of life. This might take days, and frequent counselling might be required. However, if you feel that you need expert guidance, then it is a good practice to go to a professional.

I hope that my article helps. Remember, mental health is as important as physical health, and you need healing and peace to progress in life. Do whatever it takes to be happy. Just don’t get hurt and don’t hurt others. You never know when someone’s suffering starts!

Stay safe, and take care.

Regards

Debashrita

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN……..

I had never felt that life would take such a sharp turn. I had literally thought that if I study hard, things would fall in their right places.

Nothing of that sort ever happened.

For I learnt that when you grow up, the responsibilities also multiply; and not to mention, the stress of decision making.

Never believe that your duties are over……because just then you discover that the race has just begun.

I always feel low, but this year has been devastating. Born on 1st April, 1996, I became the “April Fool” of everyone’s eyes. Why I was born on that year, not a year earlier or later, I wonder. Then perhaps my situation would not have been so critical as it is now. I’m literally at a triple point now. It might amuse you, but let me tell you that my batch was the first to be experimented on CCE type of learning method: year 2009 and the first ever batch to give a JEE Main, JEE Advanced and NEET UG paper: year 2013. I’m dumbstruck. Its not good to be the cup of tea of a panel of educationists. No, never. If sometimes we can’t stand lectures of teachers, how can you ever expect us students to be manhandled by the Education minister? Man, that’s worse than a nightmare!

As I was saying, I am a 17 year old KID. Because I let my parents take my decisions and I can’t take my own decisions. I keep wondering whether my decision would be right or wrong, what would be the pros and cons…………so confused.

It all started from March this year. The tension was running at a high velocity, bumping right onto my little brain. The Class 12 CBSE Board Examinations. Fair enough. It passed away, gripping onto my sleepless nights. Next came the entrance examinations. They were the real tests of my understanding and my keys for getting into a good college. They were ruthless. The nervousness before a test , the tough question papers, the small gaps for rough scribbling, the negative marking, the time limit, the hot and sultry rooms, the anxiety on the face of both parents and the child about the percentage of the child clearing the test, the frantic search on internet for latest answers, the scolding and sobs  upheaval at home, the long wait for result declaration, the mixed feeling of anger, happiness and sadness, the curses on the students to have tried better, the registration and reporting at the required college, the high fees………………………………………………………………….

Finally, allotted to the college and studies can start.

While giving exams, I had never thought about all this.

Such a long journey to success……..yet an eternal failure…………….

Thriving on parents’ money, working for their expectations and personal upliftment…….

Purchasing smiles on parents’ tears………….

Trying on stand on own feet while squishing their hands………………

Yeah this is me……………….

Curses on this poor child.

Why was I ever born?

I can never, ever take a decision correctly. Can’t distinguish between stuff. I wonder how my school made me Class Monitor and School Captain. Well, what did they see in me?

I don’t know what they saw in me, but now I’ve surely seen myself: I’m trying to follow my dream by establishing my parents’ poverty.

There was a tie between two institutions I was supposed to join: KIIT University and VSSUT, Burla. Both were tempting enough for me to choose from. Let me outline the pros and cons for you:

KIIT UNIVERSITY

• Situated at my home town
• Branch allotted: Mechanical Engineering
• Private Institution, expensive; though going to attain International Status: With best of the best facilities one can ever imagine
• Take part in various extra curricular activities
• Take coaching for CAT and GATE
• Stay with family
• Try for Medical Entrance Examinations once again

VSSUT, Burla

• Government Institution, one of the oldest in India: Feel proud to study there
• Branch allotted: Metallurgical and Materials Engineering
• Perhaps going to attain NIT status someday

Both the options have been so tempting for me that it was [ and still is ] a very hard decision for me to choose one. A typical hamlet situation: to be or not to be.

For my happiness my parents spent a lot of money so that I could read in an institution where I would read happily and bring pride and laurels for my family. But this was not to happen. My mind keeps wandering at a triple point:

• Study for medical entrance exams.
• Go to VSSUT and try for a branch change.
• Study for medical entrance exams along with studying in KIIT so that my 1 year may not be totally a drop situation.

People give a lot of advices, but I was the one to choose my path to glory. When I wanted to join VSSUT, my parents were a strict no no but my cries finally led them to do my admission there. I mean, who on earth wants to leave a chance to join a Government institution? But I don’t know what has happened to me. When I came back home, my mindset was changed.

“I want to stay with you, Mummy and study for Medical Entrance Exams once again.”

My parents were bewildered. “What on earth do you want? Why are you so confused? Do you know for your childishness how much we have to pay?”

And this is it. When I make up  my mind to study at KIIT, I think of MBBS. Just then, I think of VSSUT and my head moves 360 degrees once again.

I kept on crying since I saw on the website of OJEE about VSSUT, and I am crying till date. My future is bleak. I have no present, no future. I have broken it before it started taking own shape. I have no idea what’s going on. Two years…….I had got 2 years……..perhaps I did not use them well. I went for coaching. 4.5 hours everyday. I never missed a day at my school. I was the class monitor. I have cleaned tables, blackboards and swept the classroom. But today I’m lost. My parents, are as depressed as I am. They have always helped me within their means. My mother never pesters me to do any household work. Both of them always take good care of me and have never let me go deprived of some facility due to its high cost. If I start writing down everything, then perhaps you would stop reading the post.

Life has just begun, but yet I think of death. It must be so peaceful. Calmness and serenity……………………I yearn for it……….But I’m still not done, my friends! Someday, may be someday I’d do such a thing that would make my parents and my school feel proud of me. Then I won’t have to bear the shame of studying at a private university, how nice it may be. Perhaps I might crack Medical Entrance Exams next year……..Then a new struggle would await me.

Debashrita

“Do what you think is right even if you are criticised. You’ll be damned if you do and you will be damned if you don’t.”

CHASING MY DREAMS…..

From many days I was searching it, in school, at home and in my coaching class. I wasn’t getting it.. I was getting mad! From where could I get it? Where was it? It had to be somewhere.

 

I got it finally. But it is incomplete, torn and dusty. I bother to look at it, but still feel to hide it somewhere again, away from the eyes of curious bystanders. No, it’s not my Practical notebook.

 

It’s my SMILE.

 

From the day I’ve entered Class 11 I’ve been feeling that something’s terribly wrong with me. So much that I’ve been calling myself NERVOUS BREAKDOWN PERSON IN A MENTAL ASYLUM lately. Surely I’m not that mad! I should have been happy by seeing my old classmates, but rather I’m feeling cold and rusted from within. I want to break the chains and run away, to a dark, dark place, where no one can ever find me. ‘Remaining in solace is the best way’, I felt.

 

But that was not the solution. I remained in dire silence. My silence at first silenced me, but that was not the question. Everyday some incident or the other happens with me, but still I don’t get used to it. I’m just like a small herb. With one blow, my work is done. I was constantly getting mad at my friends in the first weeks of my classes, but not now. I’ve learnt to respect everyone’s voices, though they maynot even care to look at me. I’ve learnt to help everyone, as I’ve always done, though they may not have one moment of their lives to think about me. Well, who bothers about me?

 

Here I always forget the perfect answer……….my family. They are always present for me. I may be troublesome, but they love me. That’s what one needs actually.

 

Again the question comes………why then I’m not able to remain happy?

 

And then I got the answer just yesterday………..Here it goes…….

 

I was searching for a bit of peace and sanctity all these days. I exactly don’t know what they mean, but they must be meaning something meaningful and so I thought that their absence was the cause of my sorrow. There’s a lot of trouble at home and my Half yearly exams are ahead. Guess my situation??????

 

In a whole crowd of people you still feel awkward and lonely if you miss the person you want to be with. Same here. Every time I miss some one or the other and go on thinking and analysing how my life could have been……if all my friends hadn’t reacted to me in this way, this and that: in short, DAYDREAMING.  That’s the only thing that gives me happiness, and I smile and laugh like a hyena when my mother smiles and my sister sings and dances with me. I’ve lost my School Captain tie, and I’m feeling powerless without it. I’ve got rotten with lots of mental deformities like inferiority complex and stark depression. I don’t know what to do. Counsellings seem to have no effect on me.

 

So I’ve let you know about me……and I hope none of you are facing troubles like me. Please say me the real path of happiness and success.

 

Bye, I’ve to go……..I’ve to search it again………….

WHAT MY BEST FRIENDS CAN DO…………

DEDICATED TO MY BEST FRIENDS: SONALI, PUNYADHARA AND VIVEK.

My best friends,

So cute, so sweet

We know each other

Without exchanging tweets.

There for me in every direction

Persons of action

Scolding me with their anger

And understanding me when I’m in tears.

Opportunity never knocks the door twice

And with friends who’re so nice

I’m not wasting my time anymore

To prove myself with an uproar.

I’m a bit depressed

Everytime I’m supressed

But with a best friend like you,

All my fears turn blue!

And I always know that you’ll hold my arms,

Turning my life into a delicate charm.

You’re the best, I feel

I’m waiting for you and praying to heal………..

My dear best friends!

I follow their set-off trends!!!!!!!!!