Tag Archives: mother


As we stand today, miles apart

I am beginning to miss your presence

Now, I realise, an important fragment of my life has been lost

Lost to the universe

I never had thought of you in such a manner, Aiee

It had never occurred to me that people depart

Such intensity of sadness, a void, has been created back here

I wish you could come back

Everything I do,  reminds me of you

The way you walked. The way you talked. The way you ate. The way you behaved funny.

The way you loved us more than we did.

My eyes, fighting back the tears,

While I see our selfies.

Were we destined to stay for such a short period together?

This cruel decision of fate has left me shattered

I have lost my faith

There are things which only grand moms can teach their grand kids

I could hardly learn any.

I wish I could see you laugh again

I wish to have spent more time with you

I wish to have been cuddled by you harder

Because the world would have been a better place for everyone;

Its true if everyone, everywhere had an aiee as nice as you.


I still can’t believe that you have departed from the earth.

I couldn’t believe my ears the moment mummy broke out the news to us. I had my design paper the next day and was tensed about it as such. But when I saw her crying uncontrollably, bursting out speeches in between of her tearful episode, I felt terrible. I can never see my mum cry. Nor she could see her mum lying still.

I had never witnessed any deaths in the family before. You passed away first. I wish you hadn’t done this to me. I am a person who always took pride in saying that “Thank God I have my both sets of grandparents for me!” Not anymore.

You left me, just like everyone else does, but this time, you have moved on forever 😥

But you do remember the moments we have shared, don’t you?

You must have felt amazing when you’d have got the news about the arrival of your daughter’s daughter to this world; and would have held me in your arms for the first time. I hope that I would not have done anything stupid on you at that moment and if I had done, then I am sorry. Too late to beg apology but yes, I am sorry.

I take pride in saying that my aiee makes the best tomato chutney and fish curry. I would insist to eat the freshly caught fish from your backyard pond, and would set off with Aja to catch some small ones. When you fed me with your soft hands, the food became ambrosia. Summers were always fun with you. Our afternoon sessions of watching Odia movies were the best. When you used to come home, we used to savour on dried mango pieces with sugar. Our favourite meal was a yummy snack of chicken roll.  And you got all excited when you were left alone in the house. You got the freedom to eat anything sweet available in the kitchen; despite a hundred warnings from every one of us; despite of the knowledge that you had diabetes.

Ludo, ludo and ludo. More ludo, but not less. You must have been the undisputed champion of the indoor game of this century. You had a way of pulling the game in your favour every time. You always got the number you wanted on your die and if not, then you still would manage to put your token in the block you wanted. Awesome playing strategies. Our much-loved past time.

It seems that everyone except me has borrowed your genes for obsession with style. Nail and feet paint, powders, bangles, gorgeous saris…… all used to be your prized possessions. It is no wonder that you were so beautiful. A clear hearted soul, that’s what you were, Aiee.


Paan used to be your greatest companion. When the shopkeepers used to ask me about the brands of various ingredients used in your paan while you sent me to buy some, confusion clearly showed up on my face. You always kept it within you, literally. Even though chewing paan was just a daily routine, It won’t be an exaggeration to say that it was your soul mate.

We used to sit on your tummy and play. Had there been a tummy contest, yours surely would have won a position for its absolute roundness, fairness, smoothness and size. The coinage of the term moti bou for you still holds relevant.

Nobody could match the humorous way in which you spewed angry words on us. It was a delight to trouble you and listen to all those Odia slangs. It never hurt. While I am writing this, your dialogue “tu kebe ama gharu jibu, tu kaha ghara bhangibu lo” is echoing in my mind.

Aiee, I loved to talk to you. During these informal talks I discovered a different person inside you, completely different from the funny and casual lady altogether: a small girl, who had lost both her parents when she was only four, and had since been raised by her step mother. You never showed pain in your eyes, nor grief in your words, Aiee, you were so strong. My mummy has derived all her strengths from you. You have never complained against your step mom. You had merely said “How harshly she might have treated us, she still loved us and gave us food. I am today alive only because of her.” No person can ever say this kind of statement. It takes huge courage and even a bigger heart to say so. You were hardworking and have raised five children who have grown up to be counted in the percentage of that few good people the world currently holds now. Thank you for taking care of all of us. We hope to inherit your potentials and make you proud.

One day we shall meet at the other side of the horizon. May your soul always be our guide and support us through the tough times.


Nickie and Nishi





I came across a turn one day,

The day I came to my new house.

A deserted road, seemed to await me

Meanwhile, the sky had turned gray;

I was humming a tune, cycling,

In the midst of houses with lush green gardens

All alone….with the wind

I burst in a fury of speed

And raced along that road.

A small graveyard, with 3 white painted structures,

Stood under the sky

Their masters, resting in eternal peace.

How I felt jealous of them!

Far away from the dramatic circumstances of this world,

They lay peacefully in the lap of mother earth.

I just went back and forgot about them.

Years later when the whole neighborhood proclaimed

The death of 2 residents within 7 days,

I was shocked.

My mind raced back to that old memory

Of the graveyard.

Next time when I went cycling,

I stopped by and started chatting.

“My friends, someday I’ll join you,

May be not here, but somewhere else

In the land of afterlife

If there was any.

Today I want to ask you, Oh God!

Why did you had to steal a mother from 3 kids,

And a father from the hopes of a 1 year child?

Didn’t you get any one better?

Your thoughts are so bitter, O Lord.

You shattered lives.

You created them.

What’s the fun then?

I know your rules, I’ve to stick to them,

But please, not with the help of these dirty games.

I shriek out to you, dearest graveyard,

I’ve nothing to say at all.

Your silence silences me.’’


Hey! Today I’m in a crazy mood! So I’m gonna write down the most absurd things I’ve ever done in my life!

  1. I ate a big, black ant when I was 2 years old.
  2. I bit my cousin’s hand while sleeping, thinking that she was the villian of my dream.
  3. I jumped off the big fence today to fetch my sister’s ball which was lying inside a heap of rubbish and fast growing and not so useful plants.[monitors and insects rule that land. Creepy!!!!]
  4. I had hit my uncle’s ear with a hard toy when I was 7 years old. He was sleeping then.
  5. I accidently threw my sister off the bed and she injured her head, when I was 7 years old. You can still see the mark near her left eyebrow.
  6. I tried to climb a hibiscus plant but fell down badly.
  7. I complained to my supervisor about my classmates bringing in cameras and ipods to school[now this is really…….Well, I don’t know what to say]
  8. I had argued with my teacher to increase my English grades.
  9. I broke my mom’s favourite plant pot and tried to put the plant back in it.
  10. I ran off shrieking, seeing a tree frog.
  11. I would play teacher-teacher for hours, when I was just 5 years old:]
  12. I used to sit and ride on my doggie’s back.
  13. I once held my friend Sonali’s collar and held her up for two minutes. She was gasping for breath.
  14. I bellowed everything I know about my mother infront of my friends.[I know this is so absurd!]
  15. I regularly used to sing and dance in my class!



What a dreadful event it was! No better than a nightmare, but worse than that.

Yesterday I was resting with my sister on my bed when suddenly the electricity went off. It’s not unusual, because here it is a type of mandatory for electricity to go off just when a little black clouds come on the sky. My sister had just taken her lunch after arriving from school but wasn’t tired. So we decided that we would go outside and sit on the staircase, where the wind was at its best and the place was well lighted. I also took Nishi’s Oriya book so that I could teach her.

Hardly I had finished explaining a paragraph to her, Nishi let out a shriek. “Gasp, it’s a frog!” I exclaimed. I was already shaking in fear. There was a frog, just over the wall on my head!!! ” Get a broom quickly and close the door!”, Nishi said. Little we did knew that we would be trapped outside.

For almost 45 minutes, we were trying to shake that Hyla[tree frog] from our wall. But it jumped down and again climbed on the door. Again I shook it off. But then he hid behind the curtains. Another time he packed himself up in one corner of the door. We were frightened to open the door as it would get inside. But at the same time it wetted our sitting place[yuck]! Now neither we could drive the frog out, nor we could sit. We were trapped. The rains began. How heavily it poured! I prayed to God and started crying:[

Fortunately our maid came just then and swept the frog off. I heaved a sigh of relief. We opened our door and went inside. Electricity was back and we went to see Pokemon:]

That’s not the end! In the night time when I went to lock the roof door, a frog was sitting there. Luckily, my sister checked the door. I fled to the house and locked the door!

Today when I went to roof with clothes to be dried, I was a bundle of nerves. I carefully climbed the steps and finally reached. But there was the frog, sitting on the chair!!!!

I was petrified and rushed without locking the door! I ran for my life! It is what you can call frog-phobia. When I narrated to my mother about this incident after she came back, she laughed and laughed……..and sat with her head downcast.

Really a very freaky incident for me. I don’t know how will I attend Biology practicals…………


When will you behave like a big girl Nickie?’, is my mother’s first dialogue for me. She always has something or the other to say me like; ” You are good for nothing” or ” Don’t you dare do that. You’ll create a mess here and my work’ll be doubled”. Strangely, I think she doesn’t think that there’s a big mess in my head. My brain. Scattered and torn, its cerebrum, cerebellum are out of the skull. So things are going out of my mind. Don’t think so much. I’m not ravaging mad!!!

From childhood itself, I’m a bit childish. Immature, as one of my classmate used to say me. I would get angry, but at the same time overwhelm with joy that I’m not like her or those other girls who are fashionable and move around the school as if they own it. I like my own self. I am what I am. I still play with dolls, have tea parties with my sister and I’m crazy about Ben 10[Yesterday I got the Gems Surprise Pack where the jumbled GreyMatter toy was awaiting me!]. I pestered mom till she agreed to get one. But she had a new dialogue this time: ” Don’t you feel ashamed that you’re going to read in Class 11 and still playing with toys?” I did feel a bit bad, but no worry. I always get these spankings. I’ve got used to them:]

That’s the matter[no, it’s not GreyMatter this time]. My former school where I used to read wasn’t Senior Secondary. So I had to get admission into a new school. Since I’ve scored CGPA 10 in my CBSE Xth Board Exam, it wasn’t difficult. But my new school is very far away from my house. And now my old school has got affiliation to open classes for XI and XII. I’m least interested for my old school, but my parents are pinning me to study there because it is near to my house. I don’t want to study there again. I’ll tell you why.

  1. I’ve become a bit smart. Last 3 years were very troubling for me. There were a lot of strifes between me and my friends, and since I was a member of the School Cabinet, it made the matters worse. So now after I took so much time and pain to forget those bitter memories, I have to again recall them in my old school. Very painful.
  2. The XI batch is new, and we’ll be an experimental batch. Staff and lab quality is unknown to me till yet.
  3. The fees is more.
  4. My former school is not so good, but still I love it. It’s a part of DAV Managing Committee and the youngest schools of Bhubaneswar. I’ll really regret if I spend my 2 years here again in the same school.
  5. My school needs donations, so I’m thinking whether they’ll take me or would like to have new students. [I’ve no intention to ruin my school’s reputation]

Aren’t these five reasons enough? But still, I’m in a dilemma. Even after having so many points in my head, I’m confused. I don’t know what’s good for me. Will it be better if my parents take decision? Or has time come for me to be decisive? I’m a kidoo who even doesn’t know what to buy at a clothes store. My mom chooses for me. Will I take the perfect decision? Will my head be all right? Oh my God, when will I learn to be decisive?

Pooh, that’s enough for today. Now I’ve taken a decision that I’ll go and play with my doll house rather than write anything more or else my head’ll burst:P

I’ve written a poem on the topic to convince my mother-

Thank you mummy for supporting my decision,

To make you proud and happy is my mission.

You are the one to cheer my decision first,

I’m so glad to have you right from the start!

I’m sure you’ll make me smart,

With love, your naughty little brat!!!!

But still, no one’s agreed to send me there because of transportation and a bit odd reputation about the school……..

Well, everything has its’ own +ve and -ve points…….

So I guess, it’s DAV for me again….

I’ll be back to DAV!


Today I’m really very happy. I’ve scored CGPA 10 points. 10 of my classmates out of 52 have achieved this credit. Now my photograph would be displayed in front of my school. My parents, friends and relatives are really proud of me. I’m also glad that I could meet their expectations successfully. I was watching news in the afternoon when the students were being interviewed about their grades. So my mother asked me ‘’what would be my response to such a situation?’’ I started in this way….

‘I’d like to thank my teachers, friends, parents and tutors for my achievement. I’d like to thank this and that…….’

Then an idea struck my mind: Why every time I’ve to say thank you to every person who owes something to me? When I was wished ‘congrats! , I had to thank everyone. Or else, it would be considered rude by my side.

Actually, saying Thank you is a very nice etiquette. There is no shame in thanking anyone. But chattering it every time gets a bit boring. As my friend Punyadhara says: How much I do try, but you’re such a stupid that you never forget to thank me! What a comment, I must say. I’m very much addicted to these words. I’m sunk. Most of my replies to emails and blog comments start with a vote of thanks.

My mother does every chore around the house. I help her by 20%. Whenever I do something, she thanks me. But I don’t deserve that, I think. This is my home, so it’s my duty to take care of it. But I always need someone to boss around so that I do my work properly:] And I do demand a thanks when I do something for someone but it shouldn’t be asked……silly me!

But we don’t thank others for a comment. Rather, we become more arrogant. I’m the biggest example:] Laugh at yourself rather than laughing than on others, then you’ll be a great personality someday. But we are the opposites!!!!

In the evening I went to the temple. It was closed. But still I went around the idols. My eyes were filled with the tears of hope and joy. I could say nothing to God but only this:


Many a times in our life, situations come when we manage to say only thank you: these two words express your gratitude for the other person. It’s music to my ears. So when my mom hands me my dinner, I’m cute enough to say Thank you! Or when my friend gives me a message, Thnx yaar is my reply.

Finally I can only say that to write this I needed the help of my internet connection: Thank you Internet:]


Since many days, I’m at home, waiting for my Std Xth CBSE Exam Board results. Within these days, it’s true that I’ve become a couch potato and get glued near my TV and laptop; but I’ve also got a lot of time to think apart classes and tuitions. There are many things that schools can, but they usually don’t care to teach since they consume time which can be used to inculcate education and sports in students. Here is my list of such activities: { if you have more ideas, then please drop down some lines:] }

1. SELF RESPECT: In this case, I’m talking about myself. I’ve got a stage fearness and it got worse when I reached Class X. Being the School Captain, I had to deliver a speech on the eve of Republic Day. But, just see my cursed fate, I forgot my speech, infront  of the whole crowd and the principal. I felt so embarassed that day. Year after year, competition for getting best in academics was increasing, so was my determination for achievement. My responsibilities were also increasing. So I eventually lost my balance and experienced the blues. But, after my family and friends confronted me, I was okay again and regained my self respect back. School teachers and juniors only commented on me.


2. TO BE SAVED FROM BULLYING: I’d like to thank God that I’ve never bullied or become a victim of bullying. I’ve read many articles about bullying, and how teachers and parents mistake it for just small fights between kids. But this can lead to the victim being depressed at later stage in life and the bullies being criminals. According to a new study, 30% of bullies consumed alcohol and did criminal activities 4 times more than the kids who aren’t. Infact, school is the starting place for bullying and now it has taken a new turn: cyber bullying. Eventually, the victim may commit suicide under peer pressure. In one year alone, 14 kids killed themselves because they were bullied in Japan. When the tormentors were arrested, they merely said, ‘it was fun’.

3. MONETARY VALUES: Schools often teach life values to children, but what the life’ll be without money? It’s rightly said that ” any fool can make money, but it takes a wise man to save it.” Children should be taught to save money, so part time jobs are the best option. But in a country like India, where unemployment is vast, part time jobs are difficult to come. I’m also searching job for last 2 months, but I’ve failed. I see my parents working hard, almost 10 hours a day. I avoid pocket money, I believe in ‘work and pay’ option. And all my saved money from running errands for my mother goes into the piggy bank.